Why do we dance? (And what happens when we don’t?)

Why do we dance? (And what happens when we don’t?)
Written: July 20, 2008

For me, this is an intensely philosophical question. Dancing defines many aspects of my life and beliefs, for me to answer why I dance would be to answer why I am… me. Plus, I don’t like philosophy. So I have always tended to avoid thinking too deeply into the reasons behind dance. I simply accept that I love to dance and that it is an incredibly important aspect of my life.

However, I recently returned from 3 months in Northern India on a UW study abroad program. I spent 10 weeks living in the rural, Lesser Himalaya and 2 weeks traveling. I learned a tremendous amount, adapted to a new culture, had incredible experiences, and made new friends. But there is no dancing in rural India. People are working all day, every day, to support themselves and their family. Only during festivals will the locals participate in folkloric dances. Only at weddings will you hear music being played. I was without Salsa or Tango. While my fellow group members were adapting to the new quantities of bugs in the bedrooms and digestive adjustments, I was trying to find someone to share my yearnings for dance with, even just to talk about it.

During those 3 months I did actually manage to find Salsa in the Himalayas, a story for another blog, but I never stopped missing dancing and the general presence of music around me. It was so quiet in those mountains.

In India I understood a little more of why I dance. I learned one thing in particular, that perhaps I have always known but never fully understood:

Dancing is addicting. I declare it fact. I went through all possible signs of withdrawal, as my days turned into weeks.

At first it was denial. I was unaware that I had gone “cold-turkey” by not dancing as I arrived in India. For the first week I didn’t listen to my music, I didn’t dance in my room. I didn’t even know I missed it. Then slowly the signs of addiction and withdrawal appeared: Irritability, anger, agitation, anxiety, depression, psychosis (seeing or hearing things that are not there [i.e.: hearing the 2-3 clave in the hammering of a carpenter]), lack of coordination, difficulty concentrating. Indeed, I did experience all of these in one (comical) way or another.

I even lost confidence. Some of my group members commented that they were excited to come out and watch me dance when we returned to the states, since I spoke of it so much. This made me anxious as I tried to imagine what I would look like. I was convinced I had forgotten everything and was never any good to begin with.

I dreamt of tango. I listened to the music and my heart would ache (although I think this always happens when I listen to tango music).

I had intense cravings to dance at random times during the day (it didn’t help when my professor would show us Bollywood films and we were expected to take notes on cultural indicators and all I wanted to do was join in with the dance scenes).

I would think: “Why have I done this to myself? I should have been more careful.” “I had no idea I was dancing so much at home.” “My classmates are all so much smarter than me to not be involved in dance.” “They aren’t missing it because they never got involved in the first place.” (vs. my thinking when I’m in Seattle: “These poor people who don’t dance, they don’t know what they are missing.”)

Eventually, however, I balanced my lifestyle in India. I invested my energy in my project with women’s health, in my classes, in the culture around me, and I took time to dance on my own a couple times each week. As the shock of not having someone to Tango with wore off, I began to appreciate the things I was missing. I realized what I had left behind…

For those whose who integrate dancing into their lifestyle, whether it be partaking in a partnership dance or dancing Ballet professionally, dancing provides a strong sense of community. Being a part of a dance community is not synonymous to your interactions with your colleagues at work or your friends at school. The community that forms around an art form and/or social-hobby is different. A passion shared by a group of people fosters a strong camaraderie that doesn’t rely on a close, personal connection with individuals. People will suggest that dancers are different in the way they interact because they have close physical interactions, as well as social. True. We cross many societal barriers when we dance face-to-face or hip-to-hip. But there is more than just physicality involved. I spent too much time in India trying to explain to myself why dancing salsa in my room alone felt so unsatisfying. I had a million reasons. But in reflection it was simply the absence of my community to share my dancing with. My roommate was good about putting up with my music and counting out-loud, but she still enjoyed comically imitating my basic and head-rolls (I don’t blame her, but I definitely didn’t feel supported in my efforts). I craved to pick out an outfit, go out, see my students, friends, leads, fellow follows, and dance.

But it was with Tango that I was completely hopeless. It truly takes (at least) two to tango. I eventually had to let tango go while I was in India. It’s a sad truth: Most long-distance relationships just don’t work out. I unchecked all tango songs on my iTunes playlist after about 4 weeks, it just hurt too much to listen. When I talked about dancing it was about Salsa, never Tango. When I practiced I never thought to drill my molinete or boleos, only the Salsa basic and spins.
I’m sorry Tango. It wasn’t you, it was me. I did it for the quality of my experience in India. Now that I am back dancing I can feel how I have neglected you. Salsa was easy to pick-up again, but with you, Tango, I’m struggling. I hope we find a way to reconnect over the summer, I miss you.

Seriously though, it has been amazing to return to dancing. I had the opportunity of spending my first 2 weeks back in the states in NY. I had my first real Salsa dance after 3 months on a dance floor with over 200 amazingly talented Salseros all dancing on-2. I don’t think I breathed from the second my first lead asked me to dance until the song ended, I was so intimidated. Dancing in NYC is another topic for another blog…

I miss India, especially my work there, but it is wonderful to be back. Salsa Con Todo is growing and I’m excited about returning to so many opportunities with the school. But mostly, it has been fantastic to see everyone again. Thank you to everyone for the warm welcomes and comments of “we missed you.” It means so much to me. I missed everyone and everything about dancing.

If you are interested in my India blog entries (they don’t concern dance) or my pictures you are welcome to check out these links:
http://zyanyakb.blogspot.com/
http://picasaweb.google.com/ZyanyaKB

Now I want to hear from you. What do you know you love about dancing? What would you miss the most if you had to leave it behind?

Post comments. Or even write your own entry and we’ll add it to the blog!
Email it to us: salsatodo@gmail.com